When I started this publication over 3 years ago… I knew it was going to be a lot of work, but I believe in what we were doing. I had no idea what I was in for. As we grew over the years I watched our magazine improve, and I’m proud of the work we’ve done, but to say it has been a lot of work would be a gross understatement.
The magazine has never been a money making venture. We always hoped it would be popular enough that we’d be able to sell advertising, or make money on subscriptions. As PDXScene… we were in too small of a pond where the inhabitants were infighting and trying to pull us into their toxic competitiveness with each other. When we went worldwide with ENM Magazine… the hazards of Covid, and the divisiveness that permeated our community, made creating fresh new content really difficult. Yet still we persevered… and we fought through it because I believe in what we’re doing.
I took on several projects, we re-booted our podcast, launched a live show on Youtube… launched a cooking channel on Youtube… all in the effort of pulling people in, hopefully to end up at the magazine. All of it in the effort of increasing our traffic. Every time a new concept or new idea came in for helping to promote the magazine, my partners would ask… “how are you going to do that?” I was already working 50-60 hours a week. “I’ll figure it out” and “I will find the time” have become words I’ve heard myself utter frequently, much to the chagrin of those I love and who work closely with me.
The result has turned into a situation where I literally am engaged in the magazine from the moment my eyes open in the morning, until I close my eyes at night. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night, with my brain working on problems, and what I can do to help promote the magazine more. This has literally consumed my life.
Since January 2020, my primary goal has been to build our audience. To attain numbers to allow us to pull in advertising dollars to support the work we do… month after month I pay $150-250 out of my own pocket, above and beyond what little bit of money comes in. While any business worth doing requires a personal investment of its owners, I can’t help but feel like I’m literally paying for the privilege of draining my bank account and killing myself in the process.
3 years of endless work that really has bore no fruit except a beautiful magazine I’m proud of… has impacted me emotionally, physically… and has harmed my relationships. I’m no longer the guy I once was, and that makes me sad, because I liked that guy. I believe in what we’re doing, I believe in Ethical Non-monogamy. I will continue my mission of normalizing non-monogamy, but I have to do it in a way that is sustainable, and healthy for me and my family. Working 60+ hours a week on it is not sustainable… I have to make a change for the sake of my own mental health, and for the sake of my family.
After much discussion with my partners, we’ve decided to close down the magazine. It is the thing that brings the most work commitment with the least amount of return. I don’t know… I think people don’t read magazines anymore. It has been and could be a great resource for our community… but it is simply not something that I personally, can continue to do, definitely not in the manner in which we have been.
The magazine represents 60+ hours a week of work investment from me. I’ve done it for no compensation other than pride in what I’ve created. I say, “I” as if I were the only one… our writers, and content contributors are the ones who will suffer for this. They are losing an outlet for their writing, to share their photos with the world. We are losing a publication that puts the talents of our Erotic Artists front and center… in a way, I’ve never seen done before. This is soul crushing for me… to those people, I feel the worst for. I simply cannot continue “doing the work that most publications have departments of people doing” (according to one of my writers)
We need to scale back… and that is what we’re doing. My partners and I are going to continue with our ENM Talk Podcast, and our ENM Talk Livecast shows… because they are enjoyable for us. We’re also going to continue with our Recipes for Love channel on Youtube… because again, we’re doing something we love. If we’re never going to be compensated for our efforts we should be doing what we enjoy… right? And each of those channels represents about 6-10 hours of work per MONTH. I hope you’ll follow us there… Through these channels we will continue to advocate for, and continue our mission to normalize non-monogamy.
ENM Talk Podcast:
https://enmtalkpodcast.com from there you can follow us on any podcast player platform. We will be publishing one or two podcasts per month. You can also find us on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/ENMTalkPodcast and we’re on Twitter and Instagram as @enmtalkpodcast
ENM Talk Livecast:
Featuring live broadcasts where you get a glimpse into our poly V/Triad… where we talk about our personal lives, beer tasting, and sample cooking… and talk about ENM related topics. We are currently planning on going live on the first Sunday of each month.
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCol7odTbAjVnkRGRBxj3uMA/ please subscribe… when we get 100 subscribers we can get a vanity URL
Recipes for Love:
This would be Ellie’s old For the Love of Food article in video format. She and I, and maybe occasionally Christina, will talk about some of our favorite dishes and cooking techniques and share them with you. We’re hoping to publish one or two produced video’s per month.
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCQyQsgTztwPUTMtHWh2MKsg please subscribe… when we get 100 subscribers we can get a vanity URL. You can also follow on Facebook for regular updates of new content https://www.facebook.com/Recipes4Love
Our March 2021 issue will officially be our final issue. We’re going out on a high… as it may just be our best issue yet… Get your copy on Pre-order now by visiting the following link: